


For Dummies

by SuccubustyKisses



Series: Monsterfucker Bingo [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ghost Keith (Voltron), M/M, sex with a ghost, they're in love damnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-10-01 17:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20353702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuccubustyKisses/pseuds/SuccubustyKisses
Summary: The music switches again, the loud reverberation of drum shaking the glass door and causing Lance to jump. He spins around to shove the door again when he sees the fog on the door and freezes.Your music sucks ass.Gasping loudly Lance smears his hands over the foggy message. “How dare you! Go to another room if you don’t like it!”Fine.The words appear, then the music cuts off. Rolling his eyes Lance pushes the door open, reaching for his phone, and only finds air. He flings himself out of the shower, looking frantically around where he left his phone with no luck. He turns to the mirror, seeing the cocky message left there.Good Luck. :)The indignant scream he lets out in frustration has his neighbor cursing at him from their window.





	For Dummies

**Author's Note:**

> The next part of my bingo! This one was ghost with Klance.

_“Now we are required by the laws of paranormal protection to inform you that one of the neighbors to this particular house is a vampire and that this house is haunted.”_

The words echo through Lance’s mind now, simple words he blew off as unimportant when he told his realtor this is the house he wanted. An irritated growl echoes through the small shower as Lance flings the door open and grabs his phone, switching the music back to his normal playlist. 

He's been in this house for a month, taking his time to paint and unpack to get it just the way he wants, finally getting his speaker system set up in his bathroom he was excited to take a shower with actual music as a background and not just his own off key singing. Unfortunately for him the ghost he had been warned about has taken this moment to finally show itself in the form of shutting off his music not five seconds into a song. Just when Lance had finally concluded that the ghost had given up the music changed to something he _knows_ wasn’t on his playlist. 

“Don’t touch my phone you astral asshole!” Lance shouts into the air, slamming his phone back down onto his towel before turning back to his shower with a huff. “What kind of ghost hangs out in the bathroom while someone is showering anyway?” 

The music switches again, the loud reverberation of drum shaking the glass door and causing Lance to jump. He spins around to shove the door again when he sees the fog on the door and freezes.

_Your music sucks ass._

Gasping loudly Lance smears his hands over the foggy message. “How dare you! Go to another room if you don’t like it!”

_Fine._

The words appear, then the music cuts off. Rolling his eyes Lance pushes the door open, reaching for his phone, and only finds air. He flings himself out of the shower, looking frantically around where he left his phone with no luck. He turns to the mirror, seeing the cocky message left there.

_Good Luck. :)_

The indignant scream he lets out in frustration has his neighbor cursing at him from their window.

* * *

Cooking has always been one of Lance’s favorite ways to pass the time. Turning the music on to something he can dance and sing to while he moves around the kitchen in a world of his own. Breakfast is no different, he flips on the radio then moves to the coffee pot before he begins his steps about the kitchen to make a meal of bacon and eggs. 

He sings along with the song as he moves about, dropping bacon into the pan to simmer while he moves to mix up his eggs. It doesn’t take long before the music is turned down to a more reasonable level for so early in the morning. Lance gives a knowing smile as he watches his mug float past his head, stopping at the coffee pot where he knows it'll be mixed just the way he likes it.

A cold touch presses into his hip, nudging him aside as a piece of chalk moves up to the board on the counter next to him. 

_Good Morning, Lance. You slept well last night._

“Morning Keith.” Lance bumps his hip to the side experimentally, pleased when he feels the cold touch as it connects. “Whenever you say it like that it makes me think you watch me sleep.” 

_What if I do? You drool, you know._

Lance gasps, pressing a hand to his chest. “I do not drool! You take that back!”

Laughter echoes through the kitchen, a rich timbre that makes Lance shudder. Pouting he turns back to his food, giving it one last poke before dropping it onto the awaiting plate. He snatches it from midair, stomping over to his dining table with a huff.

“If I drool then you have a mullet.” He sulks to himself, taking his coffee when it’s held out to him. The chalkboard on his table turns to face him.

_Shut up, Lance._

* * *

The hot water runs over his shoulders, cascading down his body in rivulets as he sighs out into the cloudy air of steam in his shower. His music is turned low, a mixed playlist he and Keith made together, hoping to make his housemate happy. Lance is ashamed to admit he's found himself getting too attached to his spectral friend. Their constant back and forth bringing a soft smile to his lips. 

“Hey Keith?” He stops, nerves turning his stomach into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. All he gets as a reply is a light tapping on the glass wall of the shower. “Why do you follow me everywhere? Are you just lonely, or…”

_Like to watch you._

Feeling a blush bloom on his cheeks Lance leans forward, pressing a hand to the glass beside it, pleased when he sees the print of one slightly smaller than his own pressing back from the other side. “I wish I could see you, too.”

_I'm so_

“No! Don’t apologize. You'll get it one day. I know for a fact there are other ghost out there who can be seen. We just have to do some research.” Lance pulls his hand away slowly to go back to washing his hair.

_You, research? You can’t even study for your psyche exam._

“HEY!” Lance’s cheeks puff out in a pout and laughter echoes through the bathroom. A heart is drawn into the fog and Lance sighs, rinsing his hair and thinking about ghosts.

* * *

The door opens before Lance gets to it, smile going wide as he walks inside the warm entryway. He struggles to kick off his shoes, arms filled with books making it harder as he feels his hat lift off his head, cold fingers running through his hair in what he hopes is an affectionate brush before his scarf unwinds from his neck.

“I found so many books, Keith. We’re going to figure this out.” Lance finally stumbles out of his first shoe, books flying through the air as waves his arms to right himself. A cold burst goes through his chest, eyes going wide as he shivers. The books stop before hitting the ground, no longer in a neat pile as Keith holds them to his invisible chest awkwardly. 

“Thanks.” Lance sighs out happily as the books float off into the living room, a light turning on after the clatter of them being dropped onto the coffee table. Lance wrestles off his other shoe and hangs his coat before moving in to flop down on the couch. “I got really lucky, our neighbor, the one I thought was the vampire and embarrassed myself with, was at the library studying. She helped me find all the books I need.”

A soft hum of acknowledgement comes from Keith as the books float through the air, one at a time now as he stacks them neatly on the corner. Stopping to look at each cover curiously. “We’re going to find the answers we need in one of these books, I just know-”

A soft gasp draws Lance’s eyes up, going wide as he sees the book floating in front of him. **Romancing the Paranormal; for Dummies.**

Lance squeals, lunging forward to snatch the book away. He quickly presses it to his chest, eyes wide and cheeks a dark red as he scrambles for an excuse. “Oh my god, I don’t remember getting this book! The library must have-”

His words are cut short again at the hard, insistent press of freezing lips against his own. Pressing forward he kisses back, opening his mouth to the cold invasion of an invisible tongue. Eyes closed he reaches out, feeling the cold press of a body climbing onto his lap, but unfortunately going straight through it in his attempt to pull him closer. 

The kiss stops as Lance’s hands drop into his lap, a deep frown pulling on his lips as he looks down at the hands on his lap, only slightly covered in a haze. He looks up, opening his mouth to say- something, he isn’t actually sure what, his thoughts cut short by the visible haze in the shape of a body. “Keith?”

“I’m… ry… shou…n't… ve…” the foggy form scrambles away from him, falling to the floor and scrambling for the piece of chalk and board left there.

“Keith!” Lance lunges forward, desperate hands grabbing at the chalk as it floats towards the board, hand going through the foggy hand gripping it. “Keith I can hear you! I can _see_ you!”

“Y… an?” The voice is small, broken, but filled with hope as the cold figure turns to look at Lance.

“It’s broken… and you look like a weird television white noise kinda thing… but, Keith you’re here. You’re here and your voice is as beautiful as I thought it would be and now I _know_ we can do this.” Lance reaches out, carefully running a finger through the area of the fog that is Keith that he thinks is his cheek. “We can do this together, just you and me.”

A cold press goes against his hand, soft to the touch, rubbing slowly against his flesh as if Keith has pressed his face into Lance’s hand and snuggled into it. “We… re… gre… m.”

* * *

They spend every free minute of the next few days reading, always touching in some way as they flip through the books for any clues. Ankles tangled together, backs pressed against each other, side by side, or Keith’s head in Lance’s lap. Lance tends to pass out from exhaustion before admitting he's tired and stopping. Keith always picks him up and carries him to bed, tucking him in and placing a soft kiss on his lips before laying down with him.

Ghosts don’t have to sleep as much as humans, and sure he could be studying to help figure things out faster, but he'd much rather spend his time here with Lance.

Within three days time Keith starts to fade again, his broken words turning back to silence, leaving both of them discouraged. They try kissing, a chaste peck on the lips, but it doesn’t do anything to help.

A growl of frustration echoes through the living room, book flying across the room and slamming into the wall as Keith finds nothing within it’s musty pages. Lance sighs reaching his hand out to pat where the book came from but only feels the coldness surrounding his fingers as his hands go through Keith’s body.

“We’ll figure it out, Keith. We can do this. We just have to be patient.” Lance pulls his hand back, frowning down at his fingers with a clear pout.

He's greeted only with silence as another book goes flying across to meet the first. 

“Stop throwing the books Keith. You need to calm down.” The air in the room seems to thicken as he talks, the feeling of needing to pop his ears becoming hard to ignore as everything in the room starts to shake, rattle, and float up into the air. The temperature drops, bringing bumps to Lance’s flesh as he sets his own book aside.

“KEITH, CALM DOWN.”

A frustrated screech echoes through the air, pitch reverberating enough to cause Lance to have to cover his ears as a framed picture of his family cracks, and the lamp flashes, rapid enough to quickly cause a headache. 

“Keith! Please stop, the light is hurting my-” The lamp goes flying across the room, shattering against the wall and falling in chunks of porcelain and glass onto the floor below.

“STOP TAKING YOUR ANGER OUT ON MY STUFF!” Lance reaches up grabbing a floating pillow and throwing it angrily towards where Keith was standing. “You’re being an asshole! Find another way to vent your frustrations!”

Instantly cold hands fist at his shirt, yanking Lance up from the couch to float a few feet from the ground. Blue eyes turn wide as a growl sounds in his face, followed by a demanding press of lips against his own. 

Before Lance can even switch from feeling of anger to arousal he’s dropping back down onto the couch. The cold touch disappears and Lance has the feeling he’s been left alone. 

“Keith?”

Just as he suspected no sign of an answer comes, sighing loudly Lance stands up, walking over to look down at his shattered lamp. Shaking his head and deciding that mess is a future Lance problem he turns away, walking down the hall and into the bathroom. He turns on his frustration playlist, the playlist of anger filled songs vibrating out of the bluetooth speakers. 

With one last look to the hallways outside he shuts the door, preparing to let out his own pent up feelings in self care shower session.

* * *

Hot water runs down already sensitive flesh, making the experience more than it could have been as Lance runs a skilled hand over his throbbing cock. His mind runs wild at the hard feel of lips against his, of invisible hands forcing him where they want as his body shudders. He takes in an unsteady breath, letting it out in a hitched moan as he presses two slick fingers into his hole, ever thankful for waterproof lube. 

His thoughts stray back to the kiss in the living room, the feeling of being held up into the air and forced breathless by a cold touch. His body jerks, another moan filling the air as the movement causes his barely thrusting fingers to hit just right. The delicious pleasure eggs him on into moving faster, pushing in a third finger and spreading them out with a whimper. 

“ha- ah- fuck.” He presses his face against the glass wall, smearing along the condensation as his body tries to fold in on itself in pleasure. He crooks his fingers hitting just right to bring him ever closer to the edge, mere seconds from release, and freezes.

The soft creek of the bathroom door opening reaches his ears, throwing his eyes wide and his body scrambling to cover his painfully hard cock. His voice comes out with a squeak in it. “Keith? Is- is that you?”

A soft tap sounds on the glass of the wall before a cold touch brushes over Lance’s side, words slowly form in the fog in front of him. 

_I'm sorry, Lance._

“It’s cool, great, so great, fantastic. I forgive you everything is awesome I’m just gonna finish my shower and-”

_I can help. Wash your hair?_

Lance watches in what feels like slow motion horror as Keith grabs the open bottle set on the ledge beside him and lifts it up. His mind works frantically to decide if flashing his boner, or letting Keith see the lube is a worse fate. The decision is made for him before his mind can come to a consensus, as Keith tips the bottle, and Lance watches in horror as a stream of lube puddles in the air at his side.

The lube seems to move around, some falling from its invisible perch to the shower below before the bottle is held in the air, twisting around as if being inspected. Slowly the bottle settles back on the shelf before words start to appear in front of him.

_I could_

They pause, as if hesitating for only a moment before smudging out the word could and continuing.

_want to help._

Looking at the words, slowly fading in the shower Lance licks his lips before nodding. “I-“ he swallows down his nerves and tries again. “I’d love the help.”

A cold touch presses into his hip, running a icy line across to his belly button and down. Lance shudders, moving his hands from his dick to press them into the wall. The freezing touch of Keith’s hand wraps around the revealed flesh, making Lance want to pull away from the drastic change in temperature, but also buck forward into the confident grip easily sliding up to the head, swirling around, and back down again. 

A loud moan echoes in the small confines of the shower, Lance’s hips bucking forward into the touch with a purpose. He can feel himself quickly coming to an end, ready to have the best orgasm of his life, when the cold grip stops moving, tightening down almost painfully hard on the base.

Cold breath hits Lance’s ear as his moans turn to a whine, his hips jerking forward to try and encourage the touch to continue, but Keith keeps his hand still where it is. “Please, Keith. Please, I just want-”

Another hand presses into his crack, slick fingers easily pressing into his already stretched hole. A pleased hum fills the thick, steamy air as Keith scissors his fingers, pumping and crooking them a few times, leaving Lance smacking his head against the glass to thrust his ass back into the touch. 

Too soon the fingers leave, and Lance is left craving for more. He doesn’t have to wait long as something else presses against his puckered opening. Lance whimpers, leaning forward so he can press his ass back to try to force the touch inside.

“Yes, god yes. Please, Keith. Fuck me, Keith. I want you so bad.” He doesn’t have to beg for long, the press against him insistent and as quickly as it appears it’s fully inside of him, the cold line of Keith’s body pressed against his back as he shallowly ruts his hips into Lance. “Keep moving, I’m fine, so horny, don’t stop.” 

A chuckle sounds right in Lance’s ear as the cold feeling pulls back then smacks back in again, echoing through the bathroom as Keith sets a hard, fast pace. Lance sounds destroyed within minutes, his mouth open in a pant as a frigid hand runs up his spine to press into the back of his neck, pushing his face into the glass. 

“Keith, I’m close, so close. Please Keith, I want you so much.”

Lance’s eyes flutter as he fights the urge to let them roll back into his head with pleasure, wanting to keep them open for any words from Keith. A handprint appears on the glass next to his own hand, frosting over impossibly with the hot air around them, as the grip on his neck tightens for a second before releasing and moving back down to wrap around his waist. 

The hard pace becomes faster, the smack of Keith’s hips against his ass leaving a painful sting in its wake. A sharp pain runs through Lance’s oversensitive nerves as teeth press into his shoulder, digging in hard before releasing. A satisfied hum follows before the print on the wall starts to melt away. Icy fingers grip Lance’s chin, pulling him back up against the line of Keith’s body and turning back towards him.

Lips press together for only a second before both mouths open, tongues twisting together in messy, uncoordinated kiss, as Keith continues to fuck Lance into release. The hand on his waist moves down, wrapping around the dick bobbing in the air and pumping. The kiss breaks and Keith’s hand moves to Lance’s hip, his angle shifting to better hit his target as his other hand sends feelings of utter bliss through his system. 

“So... od… nce… Cum… me, baby.”

“Keith!” Lance’s knees nearly buckle as his release hits him, cum splashing onto the glass and sliding down into the drain below. A pleased groan is pressed into Lance’s spine as his body feels a shot of warmth filling him, and a heavy weight suddenly pressed against him, smooshing him against the glass. 

“…ve… u.”

“Keith you're crushing me. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you have to dead weight get off.”

“I ju… id.” A smug reply.

“Oh my god, are you actually making jokes rig… KEITH!” The weight quickly moves off of him at Lance’s urgent tone and Lance turns quickly to look wide eyed into the cloudy figure under the water spray. “Keith I can see and hear you again!”

Keith’s right hand raises up in front of his face and turns this way and that. In a flash the figure is gone, dashing through the wall of the shower to stand in front of the mirror. “How?”

“We'll figure it out, Keith. No matter what, we're in this together.” Lance turns off the shower, climbing out to wrap the towel around himself, giggling when Keith moves over to take it from him and starts rubbing him down. 

Once he’s satisfied with drying off Lance Keith floats the towel to the hamper before leaning in to press a kiss to warm lips. “..nk you.”

“You’re welcome, now let's get some dinner and get back to reading.” Lance turns to walk out of the bathroom, uncaring about his unclothed state. “Oh, and Keith?”

“Mmm?”

“I love you, too.”

* * *

The sweet pull of dreams still calls to Lance as his alarm starts to ring, his mind clinging to the tendrils of the dream he was having and the soft touches within it. He groans, pushing his hips forward a little in hopes of a little friction on his aching cock, begging for attention after such a delicious dream.

A cold chill runs up his length as he flails one arm to the side in search of his phone and it’s incessant blaring. With a gasp he pulls his hips back, only to feel a lukewarm moisture envelope him, quickly surrounding his entire cock in its moist pleasure. Unable to stop himself Lance thrusts up, moaning out as the feeling around him dips down completely, then pulls up again only to go back down as Lance gives another blind hump into the air. 

A hard suck has him moaning out into the air as the press of a tongue laves up the underside of his cock and swirls the head. Not even bothering to open his eyes Lance reaches down, hand twining with silken locks and urging back down. Another moan fills the air, this one muffled by his cock, encouraging him forward. Both hands grip into the other's hair, his hips bucking up as his hands urge down, humping into the off temperature mouth around him.

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Lance is calling out a warning, cock twitching as he presses a cold nose down into his curls and cums down the others throat. Once he feels himself coming down he pulls the mouth off of him, ignoring the amused chuckle that follows.

Annoyed by the obnoxiously incessant beeping of his phone Lance lets go with one hand, returning it to his blind smack around the bed to search for the device while the other runs soothingly through the long hair of his partner. Cool lips place a soft kiss to the palm of his hand as icy fingers run up his chest, one hand moving along down his flailing arm to settle it on top of his phone with a soft laugh.

“You could just open your eyes.”

“Too early to see.” Lance mumbles, swiping the screen to shut off the alarm and pulling Keith’s cold body to his chest. He snuggles into his hair, breathing in the smell of vanilla ice cream as he runs his hands up and down the smooth skin of his back. “You gonna wake me up like that often?”

Another soft laugh puffs against his collarbone as Keith snuggles in against him. “Depends how often you're going to wake me by humping me in your sleep.”

“Mmm…” Lance hums, hands trailing down to grab the firm globes of Keith’s ass. “Baby I'll hump you any time any wh- _WAIT!_”

Blue eyes fly open as Lance jerks up into sitting, causing Keith to tumble down onto the bed with and _oof._

Lance looks down at the figure in his bed, rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands before staring again with an opened mouth. His legs are pressed into the bed by the weight of the body on top of him, pale skin practically glowing in the morning light seeping in through the window as dark hair falls to cover his face. Needing to see more Lance reaches out, fingers running through Keith’s soft hair and pushing it back to take in the large scar on his cheek, swollen red lips, and sparkling violet eyes.

“Holy shit, Keith. You’re here. I mean, you’ve always been here, but I mean. _You're here,_ I can see you and touch you and _fuck you’re beautiful._” Lance can’t help but lean forward, pressing their lips together with a pleased sigh. 

One kiss becomes two, then two becomes four, and before long Lance has Keith pressed into the bed, hands and mouth worshipping his pale flesh. Just as his mouth is wrapping around the pink of Keith’s tip a shrill alarm fills the air, causing both men to jump and curse. 

Keith snatches up Lance’s phone, swiping off the alarm with a pout. “You gotta go get ready for class now.”

“Fuck class.” Lance scoffs, snatching his phone and turning it completely off to prevent more interruptions. “I have something much better to study right now.”

“God, Lance please don’t talk about those stupid books while your mouth is at my dick.” 

Lance grins, tongue laving up the length. “I wasn’t talking about the books, sweetheart. I'm going to research all the different ways I can touch you now. Going to suck you down and stretch you open and fuck you into the after-afterlife.”

“Really, Lance? The after-afterlife?” Keith scoffs, even as he buries his fingers into Lance’s hair and pushes him back onto his dick. 

“I’m gonna fuck you back into silence, pretty boy.”

“We’ll see who’s throat hurts when this is all over, sweet cheeks.” Keith humps up lightly, rubbing his dripping cock on Lance’s cheek. “Now shut up and fuck me double dead.”

* * *

**Bumps in Your Paranormal Path.**

**It is the case with most human/paranormal relationships that there will be bumps along your path that may be hard to get over. For example dating a werewolf can prove most hazardous if they don’t regularly trim their nails. But, with the proper insight you can achieve a safe, and happy relationship with your paranormal partner.**

Lance chuckles to himself, fingers continuously running through Keith’s hair as his partner lay with his head in his lap watching some cartoon about a war in space. He turns the page and continues reading the _for dummies_ book.

**Some problems, however, have a much easier solution than others. For example if your paranormal partner is of the spectral variety, they can lose their appearance and voice over time. But, lucky for you, a proven method to help a ghost retain its physical form is for its body to ingest fresh human DNA. Most ghosts find it more beneficial to get said living DNA through sexual encounters like unprotected intercourse and fellatio, but they can also retain their forms in a similar fashion to vampires and just drink a small portion of fresh blood, or even saliva.**

“Holy fuck.” Lance reads the passage again, flipping the book to look at the title again in disbelief before flipping it back again to read it a third time. “Keith I found it.”

“hmm?” Keith sounds sleepy as he blinks up at him. “Found what?”

“The answer we’ve been searching for.” Lance waves the book in the air for emphasis. “Turns out we were just looking in the wrong books.”

Keith snatches the book, reading where Lance points in disbelief before laughing. “Guess we're dummies after all.”

“Yeah,” Lance grins, pushing the book aside to lean over and claim Keith’s lips. “But we're dummies together, and now we know as long as I'm here you'll never be invisible again.”

“Oh yeah?” Keith sets the book aside, sitting up to get eye level with Lance. “And why's that?”

“Because I'm gonna fuck you so much you'll have to float around… because your ass will be too sore to sit… or something.”

Chuckling Keith leans forward to press a kiss to Lance’s lips. “Prove it, dummy."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! It was so fun to write. 
> 
> Feel free to check me out on twitter @succubustykiss or tumblr at SuccubustyKisses 
> 
> And as always, your comments and kudos fuel me!


End file.
